I think that every mom's dream (well almost) is to stay home with their children so that someone else isn't raising them. And when you find out your child has special needs that is even more heightened. I went back to work this week after my maternity leave for my second child. It was very hard to leave Liam. Ethan is almost two and he is getting easier. However, I will never forget when I went back after he was born.
We were not sure if Ethan had cf yet but we were pretty sure. I returned to work and it was insurance renewal time. In this meeting I learned that Ethan and I's deductible was going from $500 to $4000. It was the end of June and he had an appointment scheduled for July 1st, conveniently when his deductible was sky rocketing! I had to call and beg the clinic to move him up a day earlier to June 30th because at this point we were pretty sure he had it. His fecal test came back with a score of 9 when it should be well above 200. I wasnt ready to foot the bill for prescriptions that very next day.
Every time Ethan is sick it pains me that I cannot be home with him to do his four treatments a day. Fortunately we have the next best thing... Grandma! And she takes his CF just as serious as we do. Thank goodness! I cannot imagine having to go to work and leaving him at a daycare where they half way do his treatments, because lets face it, its not nearly as important to them.
I have to work because I carry the health insurance for our family. Sean would carry it but he will be changing jobs this spring and it will not have benefits right away as its a new start up company that my brother is doing. Luckily Max realizes the importance of good insurance and me being home so his goal is to have it soon.
My first week back was ok. I am not going to lie, it was nice to be back because Ethan is getting his cuspids and has been an emotional wreck the last three weeks. I am talking hanging on my leg constantly crying and just beside himself. So it was a nice escape. However, my heart is here and I miss my boys. I am so envious of so many of my CF momma friends who can stay home and be with thier children. But our family story is a little different.
I was also offered a promotion that I will start transition to this fall. I am very excited for this as I will be a supervisor again. I am a "natural leader" as some have said :) so this is a great fit for me.
My house is a wreck and I am completely and utterly exhausted. Liam still wakes up every 3-4 hours so if we time it right I only wake up twice to nurse but waking up early and getting both boys ready, fed and E's treatments is A LOT. It takes me two hours to get them all ready and out the door in the AM. Fortunately I am back right now at reduced full time of 830-4 and then off at 1230 on Friday. I use Friday afternoons to clean and get groceries. Mommy needs some time for her self! Especially after working a full work week.